I've also come to realize that I have so much to say, and so much to elaborate on that it cannot all fit on this small time blog, and I have therefore come to realize that I need to write my novel. If not for the money, which would so greatly be contributed to my education, than at least for my sanity and my sense of worth and accomplishment. No other eyes need ever read it, but I think it will be fun and I think its necessary.
It's a very jumbled piece at the moment that deals with, essentially, my life, or at least the last 6 years. It is a piece dedicated to what I have been through, with my friends, my family, and myself. Much of it will be based on truth, but the operative word here is based, the second and also very necessary is loosely. It will deal with the trials and tribulations that an actual teen has gone through and what it takes to overcome the hardest parts of ones life, all while trying to establish it for oneself and for the thoughts that plague ones mind. It will also deal with the past, beyond those 6 years, and the future, or what the protagonist hopes for the future. I like the idea, and I hope a publisher will like it too, when the product is complete. I also plan to use some snippets of this blog as a way to decrease the amount of writing I need to complete and to give it a more grounded sense of reality.
In addition, I want to write another one based on life with my sisters, and life with women in general. A guide for men, if you will, as to what they do and what they mean... I think that will be much better. Its also a tribute to them and all they have done for me. And not to sound like a broken record, but I plan on writing for a magazine or something, attempting to get a column or do something lucrative and admirable.
I may have fallen deeper in love with Vienna Teng and with Amy Tan. I think they are both incredibly brilliant and skilled and I am adding them to my list of people I want to meet in my lifetime. So far it includes:
Meryl Streep
Anne Hathaway
Natalie Portman
Vienna Teng
Amy Tan
Ian McEwan
Damien Rice
Bobby Jindal
& a few others that don't quite come to mind right-a-way.
I'm even more ready for college & it has finally set in that I am going to Brown. But has yet to fully set in that I was rejected from Harvard. Speaking of which, I found the decision letter, and rereading it was not good for my mental health. It brought back all my memories, and my hopes and dreams, and it saddens me to think about it now, even more than it did when I was first rejected. Hopefully soon I will be so in love with Brown that Harvard and Yale will no longer mean a thing.
* random tangent. I was talking to Buttercup the other day and she told me that one of her teachers husbands, who went to Yale, walked up to her and told her that she is going to THE GREATEST SCHOOL IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!! :D
It was so exciting. Also, big news, Emma Watson, as in Hermione Granger of Harry Potter, will be in my class at Brown, and turned down Yale to do so... I love her, even more so, because she turned down Yale. So awesome!
Yet, and I can't help but talk about it, it is as though all of my friendships have dissipated.
I still love my friends, and I always will, but the thing is... I'm not really sure we're friends anymore. Anthony and Nikki don't talk to me unless I do it first... which I haven't done in while, so we therefore haven't talked in quite a while, and to be honest, I don't plan to. They can put in some of the effort. But Raquel has been talking to me more than she has in a while, and thats nice, at least I have some human contact. I've therefore come to realize that I have been far too antisocial in my high school career. I only ever really talked to them and a few other people....
So.. I'm going to change that in college. I'm going to be very social and talk to everyone, even people I don't like, just because I need to, for me.
Right now I have so much running through my head that I can't seem to think cohesively. So when I can, I'll put more up. Until then I will always keep living my life between thoughts. Ciao.
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